I still remember the first time we had a real physical encounter. It was one of those days when I didn't know why I was there but I was. She was beautiful and we had a great time, me, her and a few other people. I would've "made a move" if I hadn't embarrassed myself by getting way too drunk, but then again, I have always been a believer of timing, and I know that whatever happened, happened for a reason.
After a year, I purposely made our paths cross again not knowing where it would lead me. The timing? It was perfect because after many years I finally got rid of all my baggage from my past. It was that point in my life where I knew I've truly moved on from every bit of pain. I learned how to accept myself better, I realized my actual worth and I've finally convinced myself that I deserved more than what I had to go through just to get to where I am now, just to be with the right person. And there she is now, the living proof of it all.
The first time she left for Japan, I spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship. I thought about where our relationship was going, and how I really feel about her. The longer I thought about it, the deeper my feelings got. That's when I began to have fear in my heart, I feared too feel so much for one person, I feared to feel every sort of emotion known to mankind and wake up on a random day just to hear her say it's over or that she doesn't feel the same way anymore. I can no longer see a day without her in a my life and that's what scares me.
So when I saw her again, I knew I had to do something. I knew I had to make her feel as if we're starting over again, the getting-to-know stage, the honeymoon stage, but at the same time, the comfortable stage, where we get to be who we truly are behind closed doors, where we can share just about anything with each other.
Yes, the fun slowed down, the "kilig" didn't last 24/7. But I knew it didn't die, and what people needs to understand and accept is, when times are bad or boring, it's the perfect moment to hold her tighter, it's the moment where you should fight harder. Comfortable isn't bad. It never is. If you think about it, it's exactly how home feels like. It's a place where we can do nothing yet still feel happy, a place where we can sleep all day and get that peace of mind we can't find elsewhere, it's a place you first think of after a long hard day in school or at work.
The best thing about having a home is the uniqueness of the idea, because a home could be anything or anyone, and once you have that home you know it's yours and yours alone. And only a fool would let go of their home.
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